37 Best Cat Life Lessons I Learned from My Cat
Since I got my two cats, I realized they might be better at life than I am. So, I decided to observe their day-to-day behavior in hopes that I will learn some tips & tricks. I wasn’t wrong.
In fact, the inspiration for this entire website came from me realizing there are many people out there who would love to have a place where they can share the funny, crazy, and endearing things their pets do.
To cut to the chase, from how to deal with people to finding the best places to sleep and getting humans to worship you, here are 37 cat life lessons everyone should learn from their furry bastards. Now, if you are taking life lessons from a cat, you should know that some people might have mixed feelings about you, especially if you start hiding inside boxes every time guests arrive at your house. Apart from that, cats are amazing teachers and you can put some of these ideas in your crazy cat lady starter kit.
1. Everything can be a bed if you’re brave and sleepy enough
Humin doesn’t need that bowl anyway, it’s not like she ever cooks.
As we all know, unlike dogs, who need sumptuous dog beds for their naps and cannot sleep in just like any condition, cats can sleep virtually anywhere, a skill that humans should also exercise more often.
2. You can never have too many bags in the house (seriously)
“Shapes and colors the likes of which I’ve never seen”
Just a reminder, I advise you to collect recyclable shopping bags made of cotton or canvas, as there are already too many plastic bags on our planet as it is.
3. Or cardboard boxes
(Source: Funny or Die)
Work it, girl!
When you feel, however, that you collected too many cardboard boxes and you could make a bookcase out of them, start throwing away some. Not your cat’s favorites, though.
4. OR rubber bands
(Source: Funny or Die)
When your human forgets to feed you, just chew on them.
Rubber bands can have a bevy of uses in a household, from utilitarian ones to arts & crafts ones. I am just saying, you can never have too many rubber bands you could use in a clever manner to make your life easier and a lot more entertaining.
5. Just embrace that your belongings are all covered in hair, at least you’re fabulous
FYI: Pink hair will make your eyes pop!
Remember when I mentioned the crazy cat lady starter kit? One of the best cat life lessons I learned from my cats is that you can never have too many lint rollers in the house. Even if you don’t have cats, lint is everywhere and it is a shame to let those beautiful clothes of yours sit there unworn.
6. Getting in people’s way is hilarious
(Source: Duck Duck Moose)
What, you can’t walk around with a cat attached to your leg? Weakling.
Just respect the new social distancing rules, ok?
7. Any closed door hides a secret that you must discover at once
There’s no time to lose!
If that door stands between you and the best wet food your cat can get, there is no stopping her. Just keep an eye on how many times you open that fridge door, especially at night. You might have a surprise. #truestory.
8. Snow is only pretty to look at
You will never convince us otherwise.
9. In a relationship, you can fight and make up in a matter of seconds
Life would be boring otherwise, wouldn’t it?
If you really want to take life lessons from a cat, make sure you analyze thoroughly what cats teach you about relationships and showing affection. Some fluffy bastards, no matter how cute they are, treat the others with ice-cold indifference.
10. Expensive things won’t make you happy (but toilet paper might)
It’s the small things in life.
Toilet paper made humanity feel safe and happy in 2020, so cats may be on to something.
11. Laptops are clearly made just to keep your hands/paws warm…
Did you think I wouldn’t sit on your hands? You were wrong.
Unless you have to use them for other mundane tasks, like working…
12 …and those strange, two-dimensional creatures on the screen are clearly hiding somewhere behind it
Quick, don’t let them escape! Wait, what?
Foolproof your laptop from “accidentally” falling off your desk. This is the best cat life lesson I learned the hard way.
13. If the Lord blesses one place, in particular, that is where you need to be
“Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur! Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr!”
Home is where the cat is.
14. People who turn on the light when you’re sleeping are jerks and deserve to die
Oops, that’s my morning hair, don’t look!
You can rely on your cat to help you concoct devious plans to put an end to your misery. We all know cats plot to kill us sometimes, so make an ally out of it!
15. Even if you don’t feel like eating, you should always be there when your person eats (the closer the better)
Whatchu got there?
You know you have to eat at some point – it is healthy. It helps if your significant other orders fries. Somehow, with all your lack of appetite, those fries disappear in a split second and move on to your hips.
16. Attention is best sought at 4 AM
(Source: Paws Planet)
It’s time to wake up, Susan!
My significant other would disagree, but hey, that’s life, especially when you share it with cats!
17. You will end up killing any type of plant in the house
(Source: Ruin My Week)
Whoop, there it goes!
Do not even start me on the concept of having both cats and a Christmas tree at the same time. The cat lesson here is to foolproof the Christmas tree like McGyver and keep all your potted plants in safe places.
18. When you stock up on one type of food, you suddenly feel like barfing just when thinking about it
Are you fucking kidding me?
True story and you know it! Nutritional diversity is not just a buzzword!
19. Every time is triggered time
I must catch this tail that’s following me.
Get used to it!
20. If you ask me to eat leftovers, I will kill you in your sleep.
Although, it depends on the leftovers. But don’t exaggerate!
21. If you’re cute enough, you can sit anywhere and no one will disturb you
No, it’s cool, I can just hang out here.
You all know this to be true!
22. Affection is only good when you want it. If attention is manifested at inappropriate times, it is your legal right to scratch the hell out of the person responsible.
The law is the law!
23. If you can communicate via meows with other human beings, it’s true love
Meows are the best!
You can even ask the people close to you to boop you on the nose (“Press button for meow!”) and meow at them in your sweetest voice and pitch. They will all think you are crazy and they will all love you for it. #testedandtrue
24. Rub your face on whatever the object of your attention is holding to shift that attention to you
I am your one and only concern.
Less funny when other people do the same thing to you, but what can you do when you’re cute?
25. Dead things and trash should be acceptable gifts
Here, I bring you gift. You like?
If you are serious about your environmental efforts, consider raiding outlets instead of fur shops, recycle and reuse more!
26. Staring at your humin for 10 minutes straight should also be an acceptable behavior
I see things that you could only imagine.
Again, my significant other would disagree, especially if the staring occurs in the middle of the night. But cats can really teach you how to scare the bejesus out of people, so lesson learned!
27. Sniff sniff, always sniff before you taste
Why do humans eat such disgusting things, I will never know.
You know you do not (and should not) eat foods that smell off, so, in fact, cats teach us everything about survival, not to mention that the mere sight and smell of food signals your liver to get ready for digestion, which is healthy.
28. Not all talented bakers are human
Cuteness pie coming right up!
Even I can bake some muffins! And, to quote Ratatouille, anyone can cook. This is what you need to learn here.
29. Keeping hydrated at all costs is important, you don’t wanna be a crusty bitch
If you bought your cat a drinking water fountain, do yourself a favor and buy yourself a portable water bottle with a filter or at least a fancy water filter pitcher for the home. Seriously, hydration is crucial for your health and good-looking skin!
30. Weird facial expressions are the best
404 cat.exe not found.
Yeah. Everyone will think you are crazy and they will all love you for it. This is probably the best life lesson you can learn from your cat.
31. Sleeping face down is one of the best things ever
It keeps your nose warm.
It also keeps your back straight.
32. Face massages make you feel sooo relaaaaxed
Yas, human, just like that.
When was the last time you pampered yourself and treated yourself with a facial and some spa sessions? If cat life lessons are worth something to you, go ahead and make that beauty appointment you postpone for months now. Treat yourself, you deserve it!
33. Social gatherings are the worst
Can I just stay home and broodingly stare out the window?
Especially if you don’t like the crowd. You don’t even have to go if you don’t enjoy the company. Better alone than in a social context that you hate. Seriously, look at cats how well they fare!
34. Stealing is baaaaad
But like also really really fun when you do it right under someone’s nose.
Yup. No excuses. The law is the law.
35. Chewing on hair for fun, not sustenance is weird
I’m sure humin wouldn’t mind having to wear a wig if things get too intense.
In humans, pulling your hair or chewing your hair are signs of a mental disorder, so if it happens to you daily, you might want to see a doctor.
36. Meowing loudly always gets you what you want
Pro tip: meow back at your cat when they’re being obnoxious. They’ll be very surprised.
With a few exceptions, it works. Make sure to learn very well all you need to know about the exceptions. Other than that, have a go at it!
37. Dogs are so easy to make fun of
I’ll just spend my day torturing this poor bastard.
Whether they wear funny names or not, you can always make fun of dogs one way or the other. Yes, they can teach you plenty of lessons about healthy relationships, loyalty, and caring, but if you are a cat person, you are a cat person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!
Best Cat Life Lessons: Bottom Line
What do you think? Does your cat do any of these things? Or maybe they have taught you other cat life lessons you’d like to share with us as well?
Don’t be shy and leave us a comment (you can even include a picture), and together, we can learn how to be more like cats and win at life.
Hi, I’m Andrea and I’m a writer, editor, geek, couch potato, and most importantly, animal lover. I have been proudly owned by my two cats, Sherlock and Smokey, for 2 years, and I am by no means ashamed to admit I am a crazy-cat-lady-to-be. How did my love for animals start, you ask?Read more »